I Think This ATM is Flirting With Me…

Okay hear me out— first thing it said when I walked up to it was “Welcome to Chase Bank! How are you today?”

Immediately blushing, I didn’t see a place to respond on the screen so I just blurted out loud:

“My niece fell, but besides that I’m good.”

This ATM showing an interest in my day definitely caught my eye. What could’ve been a simple transaction was starting to become much more…

The next thing the ATM said was “What can I help you with?”

Okay, my knight in shining armor! Literally jumping into action to help me out— this was just too much for me!

“umm a smoothie would be nice!”

Not me joking like we’re old friends! I guffawed at the woman behind me like “are you seeing this?” and she seemed super impatient to see how this love story played out. I noticed there were like 6 people in line behind her, so I guess this little meet-cute was starting to draw a crowd!

“Would you like to make a withdrawal?”

😍 And now he’s reading my mind— this ATM was literally checking all of my boxes and now it was time for me to check his.

I checked yes because I made a New Year’s resolution to say “yes” to love.

The ATM (or “Chase,” as I like to call him) gave me like 6 different choices for how much money I could get because he knows I like options, and we love a supportive king! 👑🙌

I selected $60 because I wanted to seem ambitious yet humble.

“Insufficient Funds: $35 overdraft fee applied”

Our first fight. Honestly who doesn’t have a little red flag here and there! Like earlier today, I left my 6 year old niece, Barbara, unsupervised for 10 minutes so I could boil an egg— and she fell off the couch and bumped her arm! And to make matters worse, I was so busy checking on her that I over-boiled my egg! (I like them al dente). But does that make me unworthy of love?

The point is— we all have skeletons in our closets and some of them are just a little bit bigger than others:

I’m a distracted uncle and a hopeless romantic.

And Chase is an soulless money machine from a giant corporation that makes the poor poorer and the rich richer, all while profiting off the downfall of humanity by investing BILLIONS of dollars into fossil fuel companies and weapons manufacturing….

Yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that he cared about me. And I didn’t want to let one hiccup ruin my chance at true love!

Look at all these people rooting for me! A line of like 13 people was all chanting for me in support, saying things like “hurry up!” “do it already!” and “we don’t got all day!”

🥹🥰 They were right— I had to make my move.

I guess I really was taking too long because the ATM got nervous:

“Are you still there?”

Poor guy was worried he’d ruined his chance with me.

I said “yes” again (really killing it with my resolution) and after I completed the transaction he said something to me that I’ll never forget…

“Thanks for banking with Chase— hope to see you again soon!”

See you again soon??!? My heart melted and my knees got a little weak.

“MOVE!” the woman behind me jostled me out of the way and I stumbled onto the ground. “Just like my niece,” I thought, as I laid there on the ground.

She’s right— I should probably move on before I embarrass myself but I decided to savor the moment just a little while longer as I laid on a small patch of grass looking up at the cerulean sky.

Despite his name, Chase did not play hard to get— in fact, he couldn’t have made his intentions any more clear.

And I can’t WAIT for our second date! 😍