Good News! RFK Jr. is a “Non-Canonical” Kennedy.
Fans of the original Kennedys who have waited years to see a new one come out mourn the latest edition to the time-honored franchise. Dozens of critics argue that RFK Jr. “does not live up to the classics,” or they point out quite astutely that “he looks, talks, and acts, exactly like a poorly animated Bond-villain from an early 2000s PlayStation game.”
One Reddit user takes it a step further:
“I hate when they reboot one of my favorites like Doctor Who, the Avatar, or Robert F. Kennedy, and the new one is completely different from the original! Why use the same name if they’ve got nothing in common?!?”
He’s got a point.
This new Kennedy seemed destined to reinvigorate the historical Kennedy IP, with name recognition soaring among young people— but the reviews of this controversial reboot seem mixed. While fans of RFK Jr. celebrated the death of his brain-worm, critics wondered cattily if it “died of starvation.”
Finally an expert on canonical character debates, J.J. Abrams, has weighed in on Twitter to settle this once and for all—
“RFK Jr. may be entertaining, but he is NOT canon to the Kennedy Cinematic Universe…” (1/3)
“It’s just like those Star Wars fan-fics that came out with Chewbacca kissing Chef Boyardee… Sure it’s exciting, but does that make it canon?” (2/3)
“No. Sure, a newcomer like RFK jr. (or a surprisingly chiseled Chef Boyardee) can certainly spice up an old franchise and make us feel things we’ve never felt before… Perhaps such a figure could even be so divisive as to ruin your marriage… But that doesn’t mean we can let them taint the main storyline!” (3/3)
So there you have it. From the King of Canon himself. RFK Jr. may be spicy and new, but he is decidedly NOT part of the KCU.
The recent downturn in the Kennedy Cinematic Universe has led to a strong upturn in nostalgia, with many citizens yearning for the heroes they grew up with.
While many blame casting for the bad politics of late, politicians claim their performances are garnering more attention (and more money) than ever before— so by some measures, they’re just giving the people what they wanted…
One thing’s for sure though, appropriating Kennedy culture is WRONG, and when a brain-worm takes a job away from another hardworking Kennedy, (essentially engaging in K-face) it’s a massive failure in representation that reflects poorly on all of us.
Little known fact: Kennedys are a surprisingly small minority in the U.S., making up just .00009% of the American populace— that’s even smaller than the Latino population. It is the greatest tragedy of our time that in today’s modern era, we still have dozens of marginalized young Kennedys out there who have yet to see a positive representation of themselves in the media.
But fear not for the future of US political dynasties! Because George Bush VI is coming out soon and I hear he’s the bushiest one yet!